the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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