Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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