Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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