I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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