forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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