i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
