i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i dont even know how to be here
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
