He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
