i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
