she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
