if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
