Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
