i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
