well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
