Dual....:-)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
