My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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