his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
