Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize