there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
