dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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