Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
