Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
