He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
