I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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