distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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