i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
