I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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