i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
third nipple confirmed
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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