My first STD was from a foam party
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
