I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
