how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
