We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
