How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
