if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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