help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
