I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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