He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
