Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When are your genitals available?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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