the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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