Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
your like the ambassador to my penis.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
is it fun? or sober?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
