we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
