You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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