He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We talked him into tasing himself.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So apparently I’m into choking now
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
