yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize