Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
