i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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