I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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