they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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