Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
