I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
