We won't sleep together?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize