if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
