they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
