dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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