i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
