If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
