this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
