I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
