Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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