He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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