my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
