i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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