I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
