she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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