real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
