can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize