I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We need a shit load of segways right now
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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