Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Randomize
