Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize