He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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