Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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