I wanna bring you to show and tell
You're so nebulous sometimes
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
you made out with another girl for some wings
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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