out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
