Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
