Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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