I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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