we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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