We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
