I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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