I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
