PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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