I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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