Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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