just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
