She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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