butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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