we have pet lesbian snakes
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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